So here’s what’s been up in my world…
So here’s what’s been up in my world…
I had begun to turn over a new leaf of living since my health adventure last year, but a couple weeks ago when I was scheduled to fly to California to teach for the weekend I felt a bit tired. The weekend came, so Saturday I flew to California, feeling fine, taught the day, all was well. Sunday I woke up and my calves were a little tight. I didn’t think much of it, I just did some stretching, felt better, taught Sunday and then flew home. I flew home on a red-eye so I rested Monday. Tuesday, my calves were aching again and I was a bit tired but overall was okay. As the day went on my leg muscles started tightening up more and more and started hurting. I worked Wednesday morning and by the end of my morning shift, I could barely walk. Long story short, In keeping with my new lease on life and caring for myself, I took the rest of the week off, started taking natural remedies for both muscle cramps and blood clots and made an appointment with my MD/acupuncturist for Monday. When I saw him he suggested that I get an ultrasound on my legs to check for clots. To be prudent, I contacted the MD who did my surgery last year to update her and she suggested that we do a CT scan also to look at my lungs, etc.
Here’s what they found: Extensive blood clots in my legs and lungs. I was immediately checked into the hospital and put on blood thinners. They also found some other stuff. Stuff that resulted in the doctor coming into my room and essentially telling me not to make any long term plans and to get my affairs in order.
It’s an interesting thing to have someone of “authority” say with such confidence, “You don’t have long to live.” It’s especially interesting when you have been feeling healthier than you have in years. It definitely gives you cause to pause.
After my pause, I remembered that luckily, no one has authority over my life but me, and I have never viewed the body in the same way as much of the medical establishment. I believe that it all exists in our consciousness first and that our beliefs and emotions lock in our bodies and cause them to express dis-ease in various ways. The wisdom I chose to take from their words was, “live in the moment and organize your life so that you can do so.” I ask you hold the same space in your consciousness as well, that of my complete recovery and balance back to a healthy fit “me!” We bought an SUV and a truck for less than the price of the SUV because we saw what we wanted, NOT WHAT WAS. So see what we want for me, not what is!!! This is vital!!! See what we want, NOT WHAT IS.
So here’s what I’m up to now, I feel like this is an opportunity to take a deeper look at beliefs and emotions that have been running under the surface. Through the process of healing last year I was transformed, physically, chemically, emotionally, and mentally. My consciousness was expanded, my work taken to a new level. This experience is another opportunity to delve even deeper.
As I thought about living in the moment, I did have quite a profound realization. My entire life I have been driven to do what I was meant to do. Even before I knew what it
was, I felt driven… compelled to make a difference in the world. Once chiropractic came along and then BGI, I knew my purpose. Much of my transformation of last year was about becoming who I need to be to fulfill what I am meant to do. This time around I feel like it’s about me becoming who I need to be for me, separate from any mission, just me. Doing what I was meant to do has given me gifts beyond my imagining and beyond measure. It has also had a cost. One I would gladly pay but a cost nonetheless. It’s funny, when I look now at releasing what I’ve been driven to do and ask myself, “what do I want to do?” - I go blank. I feel like I don’t have a frame of reference for the question. I’ve never asked myself that. I’ve just been driven, and because I love what I do I never considered anything else. Now is my time to consider it.
So, I’ve decided to take a couple months to attend to my healing and self-discovery. I’m going to immerse myself in being happy, having fun, doing what I want to do, and feeling joy each moment. As I do that, my sense is that I will discover what I want to do with the rest of my life, no matter the length. I know that I love being in practice and teaching and I can’t imagine the rest of my life without both included. I can imagine doing it all differently.
I appreciate your love and support through this time as well as your love and support for Dr. Will and the other chiropractors serving EQLC. And please offer your love and support to the BGI Staff and Masters stepping up to teach BGI at our seminars.
I’ll keep you posted as to how things are going. My plan is to be having so much fun that 40 years from now I’ll realize that I simply forgot to die when they told me to.
See you soon. Much Love,